~ The Battle Fear The Battle to Fear itsSelf ~

When it come to growing into imagination my art, I often have a illusion that it can be done ONE night, that some how through certain imagination experience or the expression of the gifts.

The “process” of my art imaginations growth can be hurried up or short circuited

when I go this route, I end up with squashy, weak…strong, tough, I m fall down, I’m stand up again…if I’m fall down, I’m trying to stand up again.

If My ART are here DONE today and probably GONE tomorrow, but it will LIVE.

In other hand, I understand that the process of my maturity takes a great deal of time, energy, patience, faith and just plain living through the storm of life.

The Battle itself The battle to Your Ego

so this is not WAR WORLD, NOT end of world

The art about the Battle, The Battle of your self, The battle for your life.(we are fighter, fighter for our life and our stand )

Many of us like with a certain dread of the future
a fear that some day the bottom will fall out, a fear that plague will eventually get us!

Fear :

~ clouds our judgment
~ Paralyzes our actions
~ Cause us to delay rationalize over – spritualize
~ promotes paranoia
~ Induces us to think irrationally to loose objectivity
~ Destroy our trust in others
~ Diminishes our ability to believe. Risk.Act and to face it the problem
~ Maybe a reason we impute wrong motives to others
~ Is often the product of our pride
~ Refuse to believe God is there!

Every person will have to fear his own…. load of oppressive fault
one of the toughest battle you will conitinually face in life is with your self,Your EGO,selfish,lust, and Your anger…..

Anger usually focuses on our disappointment over occuresences of the past,The violation of our “RIGHT” frustration over how things have turned
out or lack of fulfillment over not having achieved our goal.
we either doubt God’s ability to manage our lives or we resent his sovereign intrusion into them,

Fear usually focuses on our anxious anticipatin of the future : Do we have what it takes to realize our hope and aspirations or will our lives crash in upon us?in the future will some uninvited calamity make it’s intrusion ?

Banyak dari manusia yg berpikir, mereka takut dengan musuh nya,
padahal… yang sesungguh nya musuh yang paling menakutkan sebenarnya adalah di dalam diri kita sendiri.So the only things we have to fear is fear itself!

Sometimes some people think they have an enemy, and not often too they think they need a bodyguard to protect them.well for some other case purpose, I can be understand that,like big company or country,ect..

But for a single simple person, what make you think you need some one to protect (unless, you know your self, you got so much problem or giving cost to people then, then you have reason to be scared as feel unscure as people/enemy will attach you or hurting you…so you need a protect from some one)

what make you think you have enemy?

and what make you worry and fear that would make you shit your pants?

Yes! We all have fear because we are human, I do too, ….and thats natural…..and I think all living beings have fear of one or another thing…..fear is a part of life….
Fear is something to deal with. The body demands an explanation of what has brought you to the thin edge of life of some of these places.

But the fear you should be to fear is fear it self and Ego – The Enemy Of Self.

Your speech ( hasut sini hasut sono, dan ujung2 nya cuma jadi penghianat )

Your path, your action and everything have cost!(Sebab dan Akibat)
Good Or Bad is depending back to what you have make it and giving cost to other , life and things.

is example :

You put salt on your meal…. ( Speaking that salt, Me and My daughter she love salt )

As we know salt is good, and we need that It is the sodium (ions) present in salt that the body requires in order to perform a variety of essential functions.

Salt can have a powerful influence on changing its environment
Salt when rightly applied to food can transform in from unappealing bladness into a delectable gourment experience.

But if you cant control as to much salt on your meal…and each day by day and each meal you put over salt, you are just invest leaving to further complications later in life.

it’s same as your ego, the cost what you done it was invest and creative a enemy.

Ask yourself …

1. Do you think and feel that outer life needs to deliver you “things” in order for you to be happy?

2. Do you struggle to take responsibility that you have created the aspects in your life that haven’t worked?

3. Do you blame people and situations outside of yourself when things go wrong?

4. Do you often feel needy and try to make things happen in order to feel better?

5. Do you have trouble accepting other people’s opinions and view points?

6. Do you struggle to be vulnerable and real around other people?

7. Do you believe your happiness is dependent on how other people see you or what you have? your things, your power, your bla bla…. (panjang ah males ngetik nya )

8. Do you find it difficult to encourage and grant other people compliments?

9. Do you employ competitive behaviour and feel envious and jealous of other people that may have or experience things you don’t? ( cemburu, masih bisa di mengerti, semua manusia pasti punya rasa cemburu, cuma kadar nya setiap orang berbeda, but envious (sirik) that’s bad, ampun bu penyakit tuh!)

10. Do you fear that people who love you can hurt you or control you?

11. Do you struggle to maintain peace, harmony and co-operation with people?

12. Do you have trouble trusting people and situations – and expect people and life to act in ways that are “wrong”? ( Biarin tar juga kemakan sendiri ama kata2 tulisan blog nya, Watch, soon or later she/he will fall down! ect…. ect…. )

13. Do you put on a front around other people so that they may like you? they should be like you and they should follow you?

14. Do you often look at life as “what can I get” rather than “what can I give?”

15. Do you think that you are on your own in life?

16. Do you feel defensive when confronted with issues?

17. Do you judge negative things that show up in your life and have trouble understanding the gift?

18. Have many of your problems been replaying the same themes?

19. Do you struggle to take responsibility with humility when you make a mistake?

20. Do you have hard time saying “I was wrong would you forgive me?”

Let’s be honest, we find sometimes to do what we really want, as just follow the ego,what to do, well keep in mind that, ultimate freedom in life is abilty to choose the right attitude,and because your attitude (kelakuan,sikap,tabiat) is centered in your will…and life, to invest a freedom of peace or to creative a enemy!

As my self, I’m not perfect either… YES! we all has experience make mistake, Fault,Dumb, even probably hurting some one, it’s were we do on purpose or not on purpose, as we are human that sometimes can make mistake, it’s still normal, some people can still understand
and some will forgiving. from 100, 50 people will understand, 25 will forgiviness and remember in this world not only live a bad people,even they are allot’s (probably include me ) but a good people and understanding people also allot.

~ THE BATTLE OF THE WRITER ~

Some people say, mostly (make it mark… mostly and Some ,not All …)
The word of the writer is more SHARP then a knife

How should I agree with this?

Yes or NO!

It’s true, but also it’s depending back to they own person /personal

Yes, as writer we have knowledge as easy to expression anything with words, from simply things, heavy one, funny to make it people laugh, happy to make people smile or make them learning, Good or Bad, Sad, even worst thing as SHARP then a Knife

~The thought of the writer can be gun
The words of the writer can be bullet

~The Thought of the writer can be teacher
The words of the writer can be guidance

~The thought of the writer can be world
The words of the writer can be picture…as you can see the world by they words

and more … more and more….

Yes a write is same like other artist, we need a freedom to our thought expression and a freedom to write.
But remember, the REAL writer we have rule, we have rule the above and agree to the terms and conditions as writer.

” That easy becomes a writer, with they knowledge abilty, they can judge people , shoot people with their words and bla bla….”

Naaaaaaaaaaa! hey, I’m witer Not nenek lampir!

The writer they also have they own battle self, like I said, it’s depending back to they own self, what people do not know…

The writer…
They battle self to they own words….
They Thought…
They speech…. ( Do I speech truthful? Straight forward? or misslanding?)

the writer also human being, they can be make mistake, so if there is words or my write and pic was not make some people feel not comfortable
I would like to say here ” Please forgive me..”

Np: A human being. I am one person for one moment and another the next. … In that sense yes, our ego is weak. But yes, we need a Ego too. …. but in the positive sense of enjoying the duty to which you dedicated yourself,for incite the desire of our dream and sucesss.

I’m not just writing things in shit on a toilet wall, If I am a sensitive little flower and, not heeding the warning, still writing the blog only to find something that offends people, I will never writing the blog again. To do otherwise would be stupid and my write that I am a masochistic and feeble nerd with no life.

I will write, and Still write…and Do my art….

~ ARE THE STORMS OF LIFE GETTING TO YOU ?

ARE THE STORM GETTING TO YOUR LIFE

ARE THE STORMS OF LIFE GETTING TO YOU ?

Several observations
~ The storms of life descend on the righteous and unrighteous a like
~ The person who builds they house on the word of God has a solid foundations :Rock
~ The person who does not built they house on the word of God has a shaky foundations :Sand
~ The storms come from every direction

ABOVE “The rains descended “
BELOW “Theflood came “
ALL SIDES “The winds blew and burst agains’t the house

Conclusion :

~Those who go to the trouble of HEARING and APPLYING the word of God will stand up under the storm
~ Those who refuse to litsen to obey God’s word will not stand up under storm life

You and I can count on storm in life whether we survive will depend upon the foundation we lay in God’s word HEARING and APPLIYING
the choice is our.

Life’s Storms like the disciples who were caught in a vicious gale are often :

~ “WITH OUT WARNING “~
~ ” FURIOUS “~
~” OVERWHELMING – THE WAVES SWEPT OVER THE BOAT “

When we suffer, when we feel like storm getting to our life,
with out warning, furious….over whelming the waves swept over the boat, we are tempted to doubt the notion that a loving God actively controls the universe and is compassionately involved in our world.
I have spoken with people who abandoned their faith in God when some tragic personal loss happened to them, Sometimes, it feels like all hell is breaking loose in our lives.

A woman who I know ,once was make screaming “I don’t understand. I love my husband, If God loves us, why did my husband have to die so slowly and so painfully by wreck? why God only take him? It’s not fair.

When people in doubt they run to center and screaming…and not often they thought as God wasn’t fair, as when they feel pain,feel like the storm destroy their life and wondering ” WHY ME?”

One of friend once asked me, “I don’t understand, I have been a good wife for him and loyal and I am good religious woman…and why my married….Does God care? Why do we sometimes lose everything we care about? …
“Why does a loving God permit suffering?”

People suffer, One day your life is happy and sunny. You have health and prosperity. Then BOOM! You are hit hard. Everything goes wrong. Sometimes a thunderbolt shoots from a clear sky and some terrible trouble befalls us and we just can’t intellectually apprehend how God has allowed it to happen.

surrounded as we feel our life furious and unexpected storms ,Sometimes make us think as ask our self, did God lead us into the boat? do I have not have the right to a storm free journey?

Where God is? thats God sleeping? is God indifferent? or God stretching my faith?

How we answer these questions will depend upon the object of our focus :

The storm which quaranteed nail biting , ulcers, panic or
God who will lead us to inner peace

“You will keep in perfect peace God whose mind is steadfast because be trusts in you!”

why does God allow furious overwhelming storms, with out warning?

I don’t know….

but I do know, God who will lead us to inner peace, be still and know that God is there!”

~ Face it ~

Since we still breathing we always find the problem and testing, kemana pun kita pergi dimana pun kita mencoba untuk bersembunyi dan berapa pun jumlah gigolo atau bodyguard yang kita punya, kita akan tetap berhadapan dengan masalah dan ujian.

Besar dan kecil nya masalah itu tergantung dari diri kita sendiri, dari dimana kita menempat kan diri dan memilih bagaimana kehidupan kita, dan dari AKIBAT dan SEBAB dari sesuatu yang kita lakukan dan perbuat!

Kalau kita memilih hidup dengan hanya di lingkungan small box dan masalah itu akan kemungkinan datang dari yang di sekitar box itu saja, dengan orang – orang dan dengan sesuatu bentuk atau benda yang ada di sekitar box itu saja!

As my self, I do not want life just in small box, I want see more…I want see sun in difference place, I want hunting a moon on difference place to see more and other poeple who far even maybe they are stranger for me.

I’m not say , I’m a person who daring risk or problem and I do not say my gut is bigger twice then size my body,but yes I’m a fighter, fighter for my life! again as human being I have a fear too and I have a weak side too,

I can feel hurt, when people hurting me
I can screaming… when the storm getting to my life too…”WHY ME!!!”
I can fall down too, if I walk in wrong way.

But we are not always , be hurt,fear, screaming or fall down…

There is always tomorrow when you get hurt,fall, a new day and a new sun bright coming after you face it the problem.
Our Problems Are Our Challenges in life so if you don’t face your problems no matter how big or small it is you must still face it (maka nya tuhan memberikan kita AKAL dan Pikiran dengan itu kita memulai nya…menggunakan untuk menyelesai kan setiap masalah dengan cara berpikir lebih dulu dan mengunakan akal bagaimana menyelesai kan nya)

If you don’t YOU WILL NEVER LEARN how to LIVE because life is full of problems From The day you were born And The Day Before you die……

~ ACCEPTING ~

Yes!,life has been an unpredictable experience. we have felt like we was climbing a mountain, and continually falling down a longer distance than we managed to climb.
there is a lot’s storm getting our life, you and me even cant acount how many…and how deep it was is, sometimes even was find often ourself as crying out as we battle as storm getting to our life’s

I am not a person who sweetly accepts my trials, by nature. Oh, not at all. Any time major life changes are flung at me, I have an instinct to duck. Life has held such radical and searingly painful changes, that I don’t want to try to catch a new one out of the blue. I fear change. So normally I withdraw, miss, and it falls at my feet, or hits me in the head.

But each toss is a test. Each toss is a challenge. Sometimes it just hits me like a ball that I cannot see in a school game. Sometimes it keeps coming back at me until I do catch it, and am forced to deal with it.

Sometimes also it’s unfair, when people have a problem as the storm getting their life, some people they don’t helping to support their mental but just judging. ( Udah jatuh ketimpa tangga lagi )

“That his/her KARMA !”
( Tuh Karma…)

Well….WHO THE HELL YOU ARE?
and WHAT GOD NAME ARE YOU? HA!

I’m not say I do not believe with Karma, but we cant just judge every problem as our karma.
God will bring you to judgment including every hidden thing whether it’s good or evil.for we will all stand before God judgment seat…

If we had no tests in life, how would we know we were achieving what we were supposed to be? How can we know anyway? It must be in the way we face and endure them. … The greatest joy of all we can imagine, will be God’s pleasure in us.

There is a reason behind any testing, whether small, or enormous. Many times we are not given this reason, nor should we think we should be. God is control of the situation, God knows the whole picture. We do not. Even if we don’t know the reason for testing until we gone, we can be certain that there is one. We can know absolutely, that God works all trial for good.

I have even thought that I might not have this trust, if I had never known a trial. Where would I have learned it, if not through going to my Saviour in brokenness?

If you are struggling with a difficult situation are the storm getting your life :

~ Realize you are not alone, other people have similiar experinces, most important remember that God with you.

~ Find a few trusted friend to share your concerns pain.

~ If you know , see and hear other people judge you ( Karma ) asking God to forgiveness them.

~ Refuse to quilty or ashamed or unworthy as you thought it’s karma. I don’t say I do not believe with karma.but
Don’t let your karma lay quilty upon you when know you served God with intergrity.

~ Keep going and Faith , wait and pray.

~ Patience and Hope.

Np : I know is not easy, even me sometimes I just run to the center and screaming “WHY ME!”
but we can try to learn to listen to Accept, we becomes obedient (which in LATIN means “ACCEPTING”)
So today, we will choose to delight in God unconditional love and once again take baby steps in learning how to let go, relax and allow your spirit free access to the depths of our being.

to instantly lift our heart up to God in surrender , May each step, each awareness, each encounter and each challange , each testing , each problem , be queitly giving over to God

Dengan berserah diri ….
Aku kembalikan semua nya kepada mu
Engkau yang memberikan….
Engkau pula yang akan mengambil nya kembali

Art not to be taught, but Natural Expression to be Encouraged

When I’m write my blog, my mind race to :

~ Is there an example to them to follow?
~ Is there a wrong to avoid ?
~ Is there a promise to claim ?
~ Is there a command to obey ?
~ Is there a conditions to meet ?
~ Is there a verse to memorize ?
~ Is there an error to mark?
~ Is there a challange to face ?

Is also same as to my ART, when I was teaching a Children for class tutor art painting.
I teaching them not just a basic how to mixed a color, but the most important what we should do, I teach them, to challenge to explore out they imagination.

I remember one of the parent my student, before she pick up her son finished tutor art on my place was ask me…

“Why you let my son drawing a bajaj (small transpotation in Indonesia) was on top the PLAZA INDONESIA and why sky is black? “
or

“Ugh look after 2 month learning, she even don’t know how to drawing good about chicken, her line drawing still bend over here bend over there, thats my daughter drawing a chicken or dragon?” ( hehhehe…I’m sorry…)

Yes, not all people will understand about the art, special the art imagination, I understand that, and some of parents who was sent they own kid to class of painting, sometimes they just excepting after 2 or 3 month learn the painting, they kid will come up as good as the master of peace.
but the most important to teaching a kid on art class is not about to made them as a copy AFANDI or PICASSO or other name of master peace.
but beside learn teaching about the color ect ect…teach them as help them to explore out they imagination.

sure there is not Bajaj on top plaza Indonesia, but we never know what will be on another 10 or 20 year later!
I told a kid, bajaj is in road,but is oke, if they like to imagine as bajaj right now as on top the building.

when kid coloring a sky as black…is fine, that what they imagine probably now or today sky is black, but yes I tell them as showing them another picture, if sky is blue, or can be white as sunny day, or can be coloring look sometimes as a rainbow comming.

Art not to be taught, but Natural Expression to be Encouraged.

so now back to my art imagination as some people probably think, “What a freak?” yes oke its look freak, but I don’t mean trying to freak any one. it’s just ART! the thought and the imagine how is about the fear as fear battle to our self, the feel as I thought as feel pain and struggle as we battle when the storm getting to our life. so this just how I’m expression the feel with my imagination as on ART.

and ever artist they have they own way difference to experssion they art on they drawing on the same tittle or semilar thought as other artist.

so here, some example, when I was starting creative my art imagination, as FREEHAND PAINTING with Photoshop.

For this tutorial I decided to paint freehand with Adobe Photoshop, rather than my usual method of scanning in image (Pic) and using the smudge tool to get the blending effect.
The whole process was done on the fly is same as like drawing pic on painting with blank canvas,I start with look other pic or image for my subjek art… Oke I beggining with a mountain rock pic as I searching in google.

canvas is as Layer ,I went with a paint toll, adjusments colors and brightness style to give it a fresher, more lively look, then end with blurr tool and smudge tools to make is smooth the image/picture, and for some pic I use style wind effect to make it chain or the wheel image like flashing.

This method took a bit longer to complete as opposed to my usual way of doing things, but the end result has a lot more punch to it.

The Tools and Picture I use for my ART Imagination

Np: Who knows will know our ability and tallented IF not OUR SELF, so Don’t give up… I’M NOT!

PLAYING AROUND OUR IMAGINATION

For a While we may appear to defy gravity by juggling our secret inner imagination and thoughts with our external world of studied conformity to accept norms in fact some of us should get an Oscar for our acting abilty…

Most from some people think , I’m a dreaming woman, even some woman who I know was judge me as call me, “Suka Menghayal!”

well remember,” Jika kamu bisa memimpikan nya, kamu bisa mendapat kan nya!”

Yes, I have a dreams and it’s difficult to keep life simple if I have multiple passion and desire

When I’m busy with my art,drawing, painting or anything to do with my art imaginative, all I need just music in my head and sit relax on my chair!
and everything just about me and my art and I will swim deep in my own world, as my mind fly around just about my art and my imagination.
Everything just seem quite for me, sometimes even deadly quite around me, even my bald eyes, seem lazy to move around to see the right or left side.

Not because I do not care with people around me, or was busy thing around me, and YES! seem I just don’t care!
who was walk past from the left or right or even to some people who was stand up near my table, if I was in cafe.

Some people have a difference way , yes every one difference! and I have my own way difference, my mind, my body, my soul,even my feeling they have own way to soar and progress my imagination as take me and drag me to my own world, again where it’s just about me and my art!

Do you think that creative people are usually more imaginative?

I think it depends more on the person actually.
One of my sister is creative but she doesn’t exactly have an imagination
My dad isn’t creative but he has an enough active imagination.
I’m creative and I have an over-active imagination.
It depends on the individual.

Before I was kid I was wondering my self :

“Where was I have been?”

“Where is that place?”

and I spoke my self…

“what happen, if I cant come back again?”
“is there….there is a door? so I can come back?”

Well, I m not a daddy girl, but yes, he is like my best friend, I like to talk to him, and I prefer talk with some one who is from my own family, if something I do not understand or something was doubt me…my father not an artist painter,but he had good taste for art and understand about the art things, he loved to give comments and options, but what ever he give me comment and his options,he always knew, the actions it’s always in my own thought and it’s always my choice

YES!!! most all the time…. the choose is mine.

But for some reason , I do too a very few time thought about his options and follow.

and I’m always remember what he say….

I saw you and tell you there is light over there…
I teach you and guide you how to go walk over there
there is left way…
there is right way…
and there is straight way…
I will teach you my away in beginning how to go to the light
but, I m not can carry you…
you have to try go walk by your self with your feet and step
even you have to grope in the dark as you walk
then when you walk, you have own your thought and choice too
which one is the best? did you still stick with my step and my follow? until you go to the light? or you have your own choice as better way then mine, to go there more fast and safe to the light!

I don’t know, sometimes I feel, I’m right and satisfied but sometimes also I felt fail with my own choose, but I never feel regret and not blame any one and I do too trying hard too not blame my self.

According from him: every human being we all got blessing from god as he give us a talented, but every each people is difference talented and difference how they explore out and how they do with they own abilty,
some people good on other side,some other people good on the other difference side
how they good or bad, how those big or small they ability is also It depends on the individual and back to they own self again.

Jika kamu tahu cara menggalinya
dan jika kamu menggali nya dengan serius
kamu akan mengangkat bakat yang terpendam keluar…
semua itu sudah ada di dalam diri kita masing masing, dan kembali lagi kepada diri kita sendiri, bagaimana cara kita mengunakan nya dan menggali nya.

Yes, as My self, I thanks full to God…
I know how to explore out my talented
I know how to explore out my imagination
and I know how to drag my self and mind to feel it my imaginations
so I can sense and feel like, I was go deep to my own world imagination.

he said :

“That because you was enjoying what you do and you enjoying your drawing and you respect full your imagination, so you can feel and sense it’s almost like real that you can be buried your self in your own world art and imagination

and he remain me again, for some people who is not trust they self and to they own feeling and sense, most they just think as weird with they own imagination, even some will felt scared think as worry other people will think Crazy and for people who is never respect with they own talented or they imagination most people who is never felt satisfaction with they own gift and with what they do, never felt satisfy with they own attainment.

“What happen,If I was to deep with my mind and my imagination and buried my self there and never come back?”
and there is ….no door there…?

my father was just giving me a big smile and I can remember that, he was just like a little laugh like I was made funny with my questions.

” As your art imaginative and painting ,The one who can control your mind and your imagination, it’s you… Your self!

he say:
When we imagination something, that also we try creative something in our mind and fantasy…
and your drawing your imaginative it’s like a movie, and think like as a movie
you creative that’s imaginative and imagination as you are the sutradara…
you creative that story as you put scenario on your mind as what will be like your fantasy and those imaginative as your wish…
and sometimes, you also can be the actor for your imagination your imaginative art or drawing fantasy.

Everything on your hands and your mind
when you think is enough , you will stop
and you don’t need a door
the key in your hands
you can make bad as you want that imagination as you wish…
you can buried your self deep in there…
you can make it good or
even you can ruin bad that your imagination
it’s yours… you the one who control that!

You can buried your self as you wish as long you want
and for some people who never come back again
that because…
they living in they own fantasy, those people who is cant accept and cant make a discriminate between real life and fantasy.

Any way, after that conversation with my father was make me feel better and I never doubt and worry any more, I was keep drawing and enjoying ever momment my own world when I was drawing…writing even when do with my art pics.

What do you think our world would be like without creative people in it, your opinions and thoughts?

I wouldn’t exactly be having this write and conversation about my art without the creativity of Mr. Gates.
But we need a balance in life – some creative some not. That’s the way I see it.

Np: All Those, it’s my art, from my hard work, and DISCIPLINE and FAITH. maybe for some people think is crazy or nothing, but for me, it’s everything and I’m satisfied at least I have been try to make it happen from one of my other dream art.
and I would like to say thank you for all the website I have been joint to all my friends who has in my friends list and any where, who support me.
Thank You

FAITH FOR THE FREEDOM OF ART

Sometimes I need to ask my self ,
whether…

I M WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE OF DISCIPLINE TO ACHIEVE A FREEDOM of my thought for my art
the tool exacted upon me for the lack of discipline will, in the long run for exceed
the price I now pay for freedom through discipline
Through from the pain
Through from my faith…

Now here, I’m with my art imaginative :

Those ~ who was in my head
those ~ who was my imaginative
those ~ the picture who I was creative by my imaginations, as an artist and my talented,

by feel, by sense, by testing, by character, by emotions, and more…more
by the eyes through my head, when you cant see directly from my head
by ears with thousand and billions voice….when you cant listen.

Where the place? and where those place…it’s just a place….no dark, not bright either, not smell , not bad either, not hot not cold either, it’s just a place….

I tell you a little bit about me :

I’m NOT to religious person and as human I do not perfect either,
You can see me sometimes, I’m still like wearing my favorite short skirt,
I’m still like sometimes, even often teasing a guys with my naughty joke on my write
(Well that’s my bad habbit, sorry….)

I NEVER see heaven before, and I NEVER see hell either, and I DO NOT KNOW what is look like those place either!

But I do believe with God, and I believe with Heaven and Hell

And in my life I NEVER SEE or MEET gosh and NEVER speak with them too.

I do not say, I do not believe…
I do not say, I believe…
But , Yes propably they are some where…
I don’t know… could be on top your closet, or could be under my bed

Oh well, if one of them, under my bed, I just hope
he is a sexy Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger as noble as Ralph Nader as funny as Woody Allen and as athletic as Jimmy Conners

Then just…. “Helloooooo…. How you doing!“

(Damn Julia, silly entar beneran dateng loh, ha ha ha, nah just joking right!)

When people have fear… with something will freak them out and as they think, they see something…as gosh, actually, what they see, is something was they own creative….on they mind from they own fear.

But I do respect to dead people!
whatever they are,where ever they are, I believe they have, they own world,but not in my world.

So Those imaginative, those place
it’s some where…some where at my mind, my head and could be it was in my dream, and my imaginative as I creative those place out from my imagination…to my art imaginative.

So just be reality…
There is nothing to do with magic things
there is nothing to do with Nge pet
what ever that nge..nge…or pet..pet
(well kalau di pepet bajaj, iyah pernah , Grrr…. damn bajaj, but I like ride bajaj)

I can’t bent spoon
I can not conjure up my self with abracadabra as turn my self becomes tiger, (if I know how to do that, probably I gonna be rich woman and have sircus )

And I do not have knowledge about black magic
the only science I have is was from school, learning from school from starting I learning spell A , B , C, writing and reading and the other knowledge I have only from a life, as I’m TRYING, DISCIPLINE, FAITH and EXPERIENCE.

So This is Me, as Woman,as Single parent for my lovely kids and as an Artist who faith for FREEDOM for her ART.

The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find a man!

” A Popular BUZZ word bandied about in live circle these days is “AVAILABLE”
the question is often asked ” Are you available ?“

Perhaps we have had the experience of finding ourselves attracted toward some one of the opposite sex… some one special… some one who available some one who will accept us the way as we are.

in recently months a number of my personal guy friend, was been kechap to me by phone or just trade short massage as trying to getting to know with me

Well I’m single …Available (damn Julia…SELF PROMOTION , well nothing wrong sometimes we need that… Well Let’s face it! we live in a society where the powerful, the beautiful and the bright usually get the recognition, the accolades and the promotions it’s pride – driven world of self that takes on at least of expression SELF PROMOTION - read my other blog “Pimp your self before they pimp you”)

Most the first time a man meet with me, mostly they talk to me about :

~ Are you seeing any one? NO

~ What do you for your life ? Artist painter and writer

~ How many kids you got? some, well I was to busy

~ Did you think, still want another kid?Well kids is gift as blessing from God, ask my self as human being as woman with my age closer to 40 and as the number my kid I had already UGH enough to make one club camp school so I’m happy and stick with I have now.

~How long you been divorce ? Quiet long, but don’t worry I’m not dry yet, I’m still can make bubble and sound OUPS!to much sorry

~ What kind a criteria guy do you like? well to many to tell, but my personalty not to picky person even I’ have side as greedy too , normally I’m dealing with what I see and I got and to the one who is available in front my nose, until it’s not work well, then I will make move.
~Why you still single….?

Bla…Bla…Bla….

~ Is dating harder for you?

I hearer, The smarter the woman get’s the more difficult for her to find a man!”

OH! Crap!!!! give me break, please…Don’t give me a such bulshit with that’s kind of pitty mind motto

PHEW!
what this wannabe “Discipler” or motoo failed to realize is generic to the art of discipling is the discipline of listening. The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find a man!

HERE THE BOTTOM LINE FOR KICKER THE ANSWER :
how else will we tap into the wellspring of a person’s soul to know “WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR LIFE?”

implied in this line of thinking of his joking the pitty motto some where out there is higher calling like there is;

“SMARTER ” and then there is the
“UNLUCKY person as being smart person”
and some how I can never quite get the two together….

Now , remain me as was my conversation chat with a man as best friend of mine from NJ, he was told me other day:

” My daughter is very smart. She got accepted to Cornell, I went to Cornell”

from that conversation chat, I can tell clearly how proud of him as father who had a daughter who smart… who does not?

But what happen when she is grown up…. are you gonna tell your daughter ………………………..

I don’t know your circumstances but I do know that God love us to much to allow us to take credit for Trying and Learning, that we may experience becomes smart….this is why we have brain.

Do You?

Smart is a person
Who learning
Who like to try , from those subject people becomes a person
Who has experience

My mother and other mother in this world , they smart cause every morning she creative with breakfast to serve her family.

and your wife they smart too…, they taking care the kids, family, house and even some other woman at same time do another job as her carrer beside being a mother…
Intelligence is not about how much you know. It is acknowledging what you do not know. It is about taking various bits of information and then using that information to form your own opinions, thoughts, and actions.

So…

The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find the right man
Sometimes but not all the time.. maybe because the guys gets intimidated to a by the woman’s strong personality.. …

” Naaaah…. she is to smart ! ( ugh sorry,excuse me so you excepting the dumb woman ?)

see you don’t give a change to your self and to the a woman
Ok she is smart…but what’s wrong with that?
what the reason to shake your dry bone knees and the freak hit though up your brain, then make you claim to fame as you are not deserve with smart woman or the opposite?

if the answer your doubt because ; You cant handle them?

I m sorry….

I suggest , for anticipating brain surgery, I suspect you would want to be sure the surgeon got an “A” “brain operation 101″ that’s silly right…

Smart woman also human being,
Sure beside they have side strong personality but they also have weak side too
Smart woman also have racks and ass OUPS, … sorry this nothing to do with being smart oke…but oh yeah now you like if I make comments this
Smart woman also can be dumb sometimes.(happen to me sometimes, as I m being silly, I can be dumb)

I don’t judge my intelligence by what I think I judge it by what other people think. Quite frankly, I have no idea how I rate compared to others and WHO CARE!!! but I do know, I’m smart

Now for all woman….

Is dating harder for smarter woman, has being smart woman hurt your dating life?

I think it’s … human nature to want to figure out why you are not successful at something that others appear to be successful at

You look for answers as to why you are not in a serious relationship when the rest of the world looks like they’re happily ever after.

So we tell ourselves something like, “It must be because you just happy with you are right now and your life…and when is come the right time… it will come!”

and I don’t think being “brainy” has to eclipse one’s personality…if you are not a snob about it. Brains can bring wit and compassion to a relationship…just think about it!

Nb:
On The Voice of Kartini ( 21 April )

Hidup Wanita Sedunia dan HIDUP PEREMPUAN INDONESIA

“Dengan belajar , menekunin dan mencoba kita tidak akan terpuruk di ke gelapan!”

(weleh weleh teriak nya kaya proklamasi kemerdekaan ajah, ampe male neh…. )

I do this!

“In The kind warmth the metal learns to glow and pure from dross the silver runs below”

illustrations-art-pics "Benggal Metal Brain"

When God is doing the deepest of work within us we can feel the
warmth and love of the GREAT ARTISAN…. as time goes by learn
to yield and allow Him to work through us express HIMSELF.

When I start learning with photo shop ( a high – end graphics program )
I began working with it and could not see how benefit me.
Photo shop offers the capability of building a piece of art in layers begining with an empty canvas, sure is not same as doing paint painting but for me it’s some how is not much difference as I m doing paint on canvas.

Not long after I began to work in photo shop
I dreamed I was viewing a picture in program.

To the side I could see the layer as empty canvas
To the side I could see the crusor as the brush
To the side I could see My Fantasy Illustration art

I saw the tools as media and begin to strip the layers one by one and throw them in the trash until there was an empty canvas, Then began a new picture one layer at a time, So here My other art Illustration art pic

“In The kind warmth the metal learns to glow and pure from dross the silver runs below”

bengal-metals-brain

I know this is a little bit strange , but this is my imaginative, my progress in this pic, I use more then 20 difference pic/object and I do about 336 layer or cropping copy of object pic, well this is not the biggest number, I had done before to made one art illustration pic with +600 or 700 layer before

so enjoy it my illustration art pic

How Big is Your Gun ?

how big is your gun?

I cant possibly look as old in real life as I do in the photos I see, lack of sleep or not , whether I am depressed or not ,
when I look in the mirror, the voice in my head says proudly ” well… not to bad for my age !” ( hmmm…. big head ya LOL )
My closer 40 something seem to be not show up, and some people told me recently.
” hey baby you will never be as old as you look!” hmmmm alright, suddenly I feel enjoying get liking LOL)

Ok forget the beauty, macho thing, six pack and how good look my look as closer to 40,
let’s cut through all the smoke and mirrors and talk about the real of sex, to be honest, it’s a place of size – both to the relationship and body.

If you ask a woman ” Does size matter?” you to tend to get generic answer, some A VERY LOUD SAY YES!!! ( Ok come down girl LOL alright we heared that ) and while other say No, and the rest just don’t care.

so….. which is it?

A few days ago I met my old friends school as at my family party on my parents house,
so during my afternoon party family and with her situation in mind,she share her worry said the wheel were coming off her personal and on her married life, as she struggles to juggle all the colors in the air her married life.
she said seemed to confused of what she want it? and what she need? and what make her happy…so her upset rush to keep up with the rest of the pack drama the color of her bed.( am I make confused with all those words? I m sure LOL but thats the point ha ha ha nah Joke )
now I come accros to size matter or not matter encounter chat chit with 2 of my friend a married woman.
“where we did we go wrong?”
isn’t that the question you are asking your self if you have offspring who are giving you fits!

“he got huge……. he got…., he got …” alright enough enough LOL later make me dizzy try to looking LMOA

then while my to pear ears be loyal listening my friend talk and other side my head was fly back to a years ago!
I remember reviewing the story from other some womans and 2 other my best friend about “big is not always the right side or fit with woman!So maybe a better say is: sure can fit but doesn’t mean always make happy.

Let’s start over again… as woman thought and they joke sometimes…

The first time most woman meet with a man, most they talk about how he handel his money and about his sex!
there is nasty little rummor circulating joke that some woman say :

Big feet big his gun
Big his thumb big his gun
Big his nose big his gun
some even say big arms big his gun…….. oh mama miaaaaaaaaa….. baby hold on there! lol
DAMN!!! So do woman have to watch all that attitudde on part body of man?

Are we?

hey, let’s slap back the question on me! How’s me? ha ha ha…. I could be honest, ugh! sometimes just for my human naughty curios LOL )

The question about size matter or not has been around…. well, since size… ( ah I m to young to mention that word lol but I can screaming loader to say that )! But The Broth as are wondering why you have doubts when the answers have already been given. If some women say it matters to them, then it probably does. Others who say it doesn’t matter, will likely have no reason to be dishonest.
But
The questions allong back to the man
as they most man thinking do woman need big gun?

Keep in mind that all women are different. its the truth some people care about size and some dont but its the feeling thet you get from the person that ultimatly matters,as long as youre being honest with things all is well

Women are typically more concerned about how good you make them feel — no matter your size.

( ah! is that make you better? ………… )

Illustration Art Pic

illustrations art pic

Admit, Oh yeah! every body knows that illustration is nothing, Nothing
compared to graphic design, Nothing compared to photography.
but still, the illustration art pic’s also beautiful and for me it’s
very creative.

Since my questionable skill as an artist and I thought
many of the core indicators of creative thinking and be imaginative and
behaviour can be seen individuals who enjoy the process of learning
through experimentation and exploration.

I will be taking a break form my painting, However I will not be
neglecting my artistic outlets. Instead I will be learning graphic
design and computer illustration, to better round out my capabilities

I normally do my graphic design with Corel draw. …and most all the
time my illustration pic I use a lot’s with Adobe Photoshop,
Macromedia Dreamweaver, Macromedia Flash,Corel Draw, Macromedia
Fireworks, Adobe Illustrator, Adobe InDesign and other Graphic Tools.

illustrations-art-pic

So although i will not be doing as much painting i will continue to
expand my artistic talents into these new areas. If you have any
suggestions or requests please let me know. since this is new territory
to me im not sure yet what i am good at and what I am great at

illustrations-art-pic