~ CHOOSING BETWEEN THE WAYA OF OUR THINK OR THE WAYS OF OUR NEED ~

A particular sporting goods company only hires salesmen who are six feet or more in height ( it’s make sense?)

But if you put a motive look and appreance at people more important for your relationship that’s unthinkable.

As I write my mind races to (thought ) “BROKENESS” are being used of God to IMPACT some of the toughes on the (earth) relationship with appearance is more important then…quality and personality.

Brokenness is the product of a person who has come to face to face with….

~ Look down on others as Compare them selves with other and feel deserving of honor

~ Don’t think they have anything to repent of

~ Wait for other to come and ask for forgiveness and Are Quik to blame others
~ Are defensive when critized

~ Are wounded when others are promoted and they are over looked

~ Claim their Right

~ Can’t accept personal responsibility

~ Desire to be served

UNBROKENESS

~ Accepting indifference

~ Are willing to be open /transparent with others

~ Are Quick to admit failure and to seek forgiveness

~ Are humbled by how much they have to learn

~ Rejoice when others are lifted up

~ Are willing to stand to the right to be rights

~ Can see where they were wrong

~ Desire to promote and comment others

From the second floor of my house, I m looking out over the balcony on early afternoon as the sun was almost disappear it’s way through the clouds, in my writing on afternoon I was struck with the commen and my wondering….

What a difference between taller and shorter when is come to relationship?

When in the dark
we will all same color…

When in lay in bed
we will be same size…

WHAT? are you excepting a more taller so he/her legs more longger so can make full on side of your bed or even longger so the feet can hang over down to side a bed?

OMG!!!

Have spoil fun with giraffe then !

IMPACT! isn’t the size effect we are to have with relationship but the IMPACT is to be primarily through the power of the quality and personality.

Bigger is useless if they don’t have good quality
Smaller even worse if they don’t have good quality

Look like when you buy a chocolate at store, there are many look so delicus , very tempting smell ( Now I’m driping my saliva while write and imagine that hehhehe grab me a tissyu plz hhehhehh )

Not only the smell of chocolate who will teasing your nose, but the package and the size also will tempting us, correct or not?well that’s company creative talented to try make a produsen happy with a lot’s of choosing

Sure when our eyes gaze to the bigger size…we will knock to looked at that one first ( for other case I’m not denying ) to comper.

Then you will pick up one , and probably you will say ;

” Oh my, longger…Bigger…Oh yes Smell good …Uhhhhh…..Uhhhhh….”
We felt really aroused, it went deeper and deeper the smell teasing the nose, we began getting really excited and we began to moan…..Ohh yeah……our nose began to groan, a bit going up…. , again a bit harder up the smell obsess the nose, our mouth start waters,the teasing smell chocolate was erotic, now seriously we talking about chocolate right?

And mean time your hand while busy with feeling, sense that size and even weighing, then the other hand checking a smaller package of chocolate, even we see already the package was smaller , sometimes our brain still wondering as sending message to our nose to smelling the chocolate flavour.

“oooooh Yes…this one also smell good hmmmm….” ( Sweet smell across my nose,heart pumping hard, your blood start run fast goes to your head and sending massage to your brain,,,for wondering)

“How much this…?”

When you check the price a smaller package of the chocolate….
Your heart even pumping more harder and your brain not just giving or sending message but directly to Yelling hehheheh


“Damn!!!! this company, trying to rape my wallet? or what?”

SMALLER BUT EXPENSIVE….( compare to other big package chocolate)
That’s because the quality,the answer is Quality of the product.

I don’t say Taller isn’t Good
I don’t say Bigger isn’t Good
I don’t say a smaller always good either.

Besar atau tinggi juga percuma kalau isinya kosong

So …if you tend to buy a chocolate when it’s comes to maintaining relationship standards why not CAREFULLLY consinder the Quality is the best rather then a package or size.

Quality is more longger, Not easy ruin by the age
ever hear some people give comment

“he is old man but he got quality man!”
“She is old lady but she have a huge quality…….

~ Choosing the ways of our think ~

Freedom of the choice how we love it ,It’s true… we have a freedom to choice our need or our think, even for our words to spelling or to expression our self to other people , Now I m coming with my write about one of guy who left words on his wall ( brokenness)

” EVEN WE DON’T HAVE MONEY WE STILL CAN HAVE TALL WOMAN ” Well very very pessimist motto!
is like a patriot when they when to war

” DON’t GIVE UP, even we don’t have bullet we still can shoot enmy with our gun!”

How is this possible ?

The Question is :

” How you shoot them if your Gun doesn’t have a BULLET?”

You mean you can used your flash fart or your balls, as trade for your empty bullet for fire your gun?

The patriot when they say don’t have bullet can still shoot enemy, probably they use a second tool, as knife or even maybe ROCK

O..oh oh… hope you don’t think a rock is second a choose to have a tall woman

If you say Not then what?

BY MAGIC WORDS?

” Oh sweety you got sexy long leg ( GUBRAX!!!!! she fall down then when she wake up, Oh oh I m fall in love with you )

Or stand BY LUCKY?

Well in this word as luck, I respect to people who believe with lucky, as we are human, we have a freedom to what we believe indifference but as my self , I don’t believe with luck, but I do believe with miracle, miracle is come from God.lucky is other second words as something you excepting coming good as you don’t do anything… it’s should be not call luck but is lazy.

Back again to the Quality

“With our QUALITY we can have a chance to have a taller and even any kind of side of woman, even we don’t have money!”

That’s is the good motto ; ….110% I Agree!

And remember …Like it or Not
woman/girl also have a freedom of choice how they love it!

Some woman like a man/guy
with gun with a lot bullet

Some woman like a man/guy
with gun with out bullet
but they have a quality and good personality

Some even like a man/guy
NO GUN but got a plenty of bullet

and some…woman
they have own special choose.

~ Choosing the ways of our need ~

“EVEN WE DON’T HAVE MONEY,WE STILL HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE AND DATE A TALLER AND SEXY GIRLS” ( Claim To Right ) “Oh yeah!!! You will, You Should, I Support you on this words!”

Every one , You and I, we all have a right and deserve

I have a right and deserve to have a sexy man with big shoulder, strong arms, nice ass, big tank, ( is that to much?) never mind.

Let’s back a little bit to oldest my blog

When some people was wondering and DOUBT about my knowledge about my ART and my ability was an negative thought …..bla..bla…(next time maybe my last name will change as bla bla..)

like other human being , I was run to the circles screaming and shout ..CLAIM to my RIGHT

” I HAVE MY RIGHT! THEY CAN’T DO THAT TO ME!”

We don’t have to prove or Claim to our right to any one, BUT the best way is we can STAND in our right.

I work hard, Learning, TRYING, and Faith … Do because of me

Let’s imagine our RIGHT is like FLAG

So the flag, either is cheap G.string,Expensive G.string,Ugly boxer or Cute Boxer ( ugh is that mean cute as got window in middle ? QUIET Julia!!!..Oke no comment on this)in other words about all those , whatever your background, level, low , high,Color and race we all have a right.

Then we need our flag stand.

As this, used your self to stand for your flag and your flag is depending to your self, when fall down, you need to stand up again…( you try hard, grab a chance the best you can and try and faith ) if you not be bother, then let’s just fall down…IGNORE IT.

Then we need a wind
to support our flag to FLAUNT

~ Personalty

~ Quality

~ Attitude

~ more and more …

Now your motto with your RIGHT will be 110% work good.

“Without money, we still have right to date Tall sexy girls”

Now,Reminds me of my old friend, some woman who I know has inner beauty inside, she is beautiful , smart, taller enough, and her boy friend excuse me on this I’m not trying to judge people appearance, he is short, Ok then I m sorry…let’s say just ugly as most her friends will wondering

Why she stick with him? hmmmm he even not kind guy who have “things” to make his woman happy ( CLING2 and BLING2)

I ask her,

she say :

“You know.. you could meet someone, and first time meet, you not attracted to person, but after sometimes of that persons company, you become more and more attracted to him/her.. Because, you got to know the person from inside… (personality) and as say, beauty is from within out”

“The one thing I really like about him, beside he got good personality, he is kind of guy , who can easy make living in any place even that’s not big thing“

Quality doesn’t mean about a person who can make a billion money.

So that’s one of quality from other example quality and every one has a difference view about the quality people and every woman/man has a difference view about the quality of the criteria their partner, and some people even makes a numb about the quality it should take as the value to their partner.

Yes, its true in reality, the first thing we look for is the looks. we always looking for a partner who is beautiful and hot.

” Whats wrong with him? he is sexy, wow 6 pack bo, handsome man… I see you was seem happy and proud when out with him to clubbing?”

“Yeah he only good for being friend, but he is not core shaker!”

If only go for appearance, don’t you think it would become boring after a while, if the person has no personality and quality to keep you interested ?

It is certainly nice to keep your appearance up but what would looking good do you if you couldn’t carry on a conversation. Personality and quality is greatly important and as I mentioned it is always good to keep up your
appearance to what you like.

Building of quality and personality in a relationship will improve the connection and deep love you have with your partner. Many people are unsure how to build the quality and personality and there are misconceptions about it as well

1. We want you to APPROACH them with intergrity… that is :

~ We don’t want you come with a hidden agenda

~ We do want you to respect us as accepting who we are , SHORT, TALLER …BIG…SKINNY

2. We want to be able to TRUST you and feel safe with you on relationship
( It’s same as you buy chocolate, if you don’t trust the comany made the chocolate , you wont buy that )

~ Don’t violate their confidence
~ Demonstrate compassion and empathy at their anguish and pain ( this call CURHAT — Listening as we know most all the time, relationship is starting with sharing, happiness, story even pain )

3. WE want a shared purpose for the relationship mutually agree as to the direction the relations should take.

~ Friendship/relationship and mutual accountability…..

You know, sometimes people just want say anything, anything to expression either they feel or just the way they like to expose how is the feeling inside of them, it’s fine sometimes is better we let it out rather than you keep inside your self….

Again I seen on another one of guy putting a words on his wall ( with other language) as saying :

” I CALLED MY SELF TO FISH FOR MEAN “
” Woman/girl is like a fish , we just need big decoys, then we can catch them easy!”

Ugh….Ugh….
Well MR.FISHERMAN…. I would like to say Nah, I’m disagree for some reason not! but Ok, I’m type of woman who open minded person I DO, (sometimes hehehhe… come on, I cant be prefect I can be negative too sometimes, but I’m always try dealing with my positive way ) I would take those words on top my table as positive way.

” Woman/girl is like a fish , we just need big decoys, then we can catch them very easy!”

I guess the answer (DECOYS) all depends upon whom you been looking (Catching)

to supply your daily need?
to supply they daily need?

to supply your daily think ?
to supply they daily think ?

or both what they need or what they think ?

Did you follow?

let’s talking about the FISH and MR.FISHERMAN.

My father he is not fisherman catch fish, but he does enjoying fishing, and being couple years many people around call him as “Pak ikan” , since his taking care all the fisherman and the ships of fisherman around area our leave (actually big area but is not necessary to mentions here,never mind)

He is not fisherman but he is understand about fisherman.

He say, “Pemancing sejati mereka tidak hanya tahu tentang developed fishing strategis and tactics tapi mereka juga tahu kapan dan waktu yang tepat untuk memancing”

Fisherman are characterized by singleness of purpose they are focused and concentrated on the task at hand (talented and quality). (so sebesar apapun your DECOY, jika kamu tidak focused and concentrated at your hand… you probably will miss it )

True fisherman don’t use line “you should have seen the one that got away” they with out commenting just hold up their full stringers like wise, fishers of man don’t have any excuse ( have right) or empty words ( not quality )

The approached the fishing is not only the point of the fisherman but also from the point of view of the fish.

The basics :

~ How do fish view the world?
~ How do woman view a man ?

~ How does the fisherman appear to the fish?
~ How does a man appear to the woman ?

~ what do fish eat and when?
What do woman need ( even you got big DECOY not all woman will agree as to need that )and when?the relationship be able and available ?

These are all good things to know

“Fisherman ” were many , The Fish where plentiful BUT the right fisher were few!

The right fisherman are people of knowledge and skill
they know the terrain of the stream and where fish like to hide out and what they like to feed on

Like wise fishers know the woman live in and the things they are being attracted to…

The info here is not a TUTOR, it is some of common thought of woman ( I say ME ). There is no such thing as a magic fishing hole or a magic decoy, I don’t care what other fisherman claim. There is nothing too complicated about fishing. As long as you learn the basics, experience will teach you the rest. There are no guarantees you will catch fish every day, but the more you fish right, the better fisherman you will become.
“NO BULL HERE!”

now….

“HAPPY FISHING !”

Np. Let’s take a moment Right now GO over to mirror and look at the unique individual whom God has beautiful crafted WOW! created in God image.
Try imagine the billions of DNA that have singly been arranged in accordance with God perfect plan , Because God delighted in creating YOU just as YOU are, there is NO ONE quite like you in all the universe

So Taller, Big, Shooter , Skinny… all is God Creating , accepting as we are as thanks to him.

~ Making Friendship like Kids Who Love All Colors ~

Friendship and love are the two most beautiful words in any language. And I believe most of us would have experienced both in some way or the other and both that experienced we bring our heart to the friendship and love.

Ah the heart, that is where our problem to how important is upholding the truth to your self and the friendship …. honest , lie is it not?
the heart here respresents you ethical center , your intellectual center, and your CHARACTER center what you think, what is going on with your will
your perceptions of your self and to the friendship.

The condition of your heart is critical because what goes on there determines the course of your friendship even to your life.

“FRIENDSHIP FROM PURE HEART “

That is simply loving friend with no strings attached

when they stab our back

sure we sad, but we try to forgive them as giving a chance back ( I know sometimes this is not easy but…)

“If some other people were giving us a chance , Why cant we don’t?”
memperbaiki silaturahmi lebih baik dari pada memutuskan nya .

That is pure friendship from the pure heart and that is how we are to love other and our friends.

but yes, as human we are not prefect and no one, we also have limit, we don’t give back chance, back and forth a hundred time and sometimes we think to let them go, as we thought they are not ready to be friend or not happy make it friend with us.

Ever see a little girl playing with their friend?

They laugh each other, they run together, sometimes often we see they often holding hands each other when they walk or run in parks together.

They comment each other about they toys

” Look my doll have beautiful crully blonde hair…and I have beuatiful red an umbrella”
” See… I do too have beautiful a dolly with black straight hair, and I have yellow umbrella”

or they work and organize together

” How about today I will be mom and you be like a daddy!”

10 minutes they play each other
and they laugh each other
10 minutes later…
the other girl screaming ….and
the one a cried…. she run to her mom as ask plaintive

” She is bad….”

Then what the parents do?

“oh I’m sorry, but she is fine, I’m sure she doesn’t mean that, Let’s see your friend again!”

then mom drag her daughter back to her friend ask they both to handshake each other, or hug each other as forgiveness and giving back a chance each other.

” Ayo…salaman lagi, baikan lagi…..!”

and a minutes later they play again, they laugh each other again, they even forget about the pain and sad.

That is a friendship from pure heart

See from the beginning we already teaching our kid about a FRIENDSHIP FROM PURE HEART…
forgiveness..and giving some one a chance.

If kid can do that, why we can’t?
If we can teach our kid like that, why cant we teach our self ?
Yes, we are not a kid and not any more, you can say it’s difference
but we can have a heart as like a young kid, to built our friendship with young heart.

EVERYONE IS THE SAME COLOR WHEN WE TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.
Friendship is like a Rainbow with so much rich color,
making friendship like kids who love all colors

Mostly a kids they love all about color they have brave to choose a full coloring of bright color
is same as they look they own playmate or friend, they mind mostly only think.

” I want to play…”
” I’m happy to be friend…”

But when they grow up, step by step mostly
they are more choosey as they own.. more soft…gentle…smooth more calm colors as they look at someone as a friend

” I choose who I like to be my friend !”

~ FRIENDSHIP FROM A CLEAR CONSCIENCE ~
That is simply ministering to friendship out of pure motives

~ we understand what a friend/friendship wants us to do – our calling

~ We accept them as they way they are – we cant expecting them to be what we want it.

~ live in harmony as support with one other – rather than pick at each other
( when you go up I will support you, when you down and fall I will be stand with you )

~ Be sympathetic – Rather than jealousy each other

~ Love as brother/sister – rather than compete as adversaries

~ Respect – each other and their stories (the ability to hear what another is attempting to put into words with out judging) and their times.

~ Confidentiality – Not violating another secrecy
(A friend is a person whom we can trust and share our secrets, inner thoughts and consider the way to solve any problems)

~ Giving ( not wondering what they give to you…) What do you give to friend and friendship?

~ FRIENDSHIP FROM SINCAREFAITH ~

That is simply loving people without hypocrisy….

Faith and Trust should be the base and understanding is vital.

Every person has a different opinion about good friend’s behaviour. Some people prefer to have a friend who is intelligent, others choose a friend who is funny, and rest of them prefer to have a friend who is reliable. All of these three characters are important behaviour of friends, but in my opinion the reliability is the best quality of friends.
Without faith and any trust or belief in each other, the relationship between people can not last for long time.

We should make it friend and friendship as colloring rich color, Even though we come from different backgrounds, different level,
Age, color, size and appearance don’t matter to us
because we see people right through
we just wanted to say that our friend is like our sister/brother

I making a lot’s friend…
I make a friendship as colloring full color…
Some as I look them as they are my friend, but they never dream if they can be my friend.
Some as I look them as they are my friend, but they never thought they are my friend.
Some as I call friend and look them as my friend, but they are not ready to be friend.
Some as I look them as friend, even we never meet yet in real, but they are my friend.
Some as I call friend and look them as my friend, and yes they are my friend.

The question is :
Did you happy make it friend ?
Did you happy to be friend to your friend?
Did you happy to see your friend happy?

Friendship can survive without love, but still we need heart to built the friendship.

Np. The little girl on this pic, she is my friend daughter, she is good kid and she does have a Friendship from pure heart, I’m always remember, once time I catch her voice as talk with her friend, when her friends come play on out side the door of my room on noontime, then she was always saying ” No, don’t play there, let’s move other place, cause auntie Julia not wake up yet ” (heheheheh….) then other her friend ask her, “how do you know she not wake up yet ?” ” My mom say, if you don’t hear yet the music on at auntie Julia room, thats mean she still sleep!” (hehheheh ) I love this little girl , I look her as my own friend, she is beautiful and have beautiful heart.

I write this blog to remain her and her mother as they both as my friend and I miss them.

PLAYING AROUND OUR IMAGINATION

For a While we may appear to defy gravity by juggling our secret inner imagination and thoughts with our external world of studied conformity to accept norms in fact some of us should get an Oscar for our acting abilty…

Most from some people think , I’m a dreaming woman, even some woman who I know was judge me as call me, “Suka Menghayal!”

well remember,” Jika kamu bisa memimpikan nya, kamu bisa mendapat kan nya!”

Yes, I have a dreams and it’s difficult to keep life simple if I have multiple passion and desire

When I’m busy with my art,drawing, painting or anything to do with my art imaginative, all I need just music in my head and sit relax on my chair!
and everything just about me and my art and I will swim deep in my own world, as my mind fly around just about my art and my imagination.
Everything just seem quite for me, sometimes even deadly quite around me, even my bald eyes, seem lazy to move around to see the right or left side.

Not because I do not care with people around me, or was busy thing around me, and YES! seem I just don’t care!
who was walk past from the left or right or even to some people who was stand up near my table, if I was in cafe.

Some people have a difference way , yes every one difference! and I have my own way difference, my mind, my body, my soul,even my feeling they have own way to soar and progress my imagination as take me and drag me to my own world, again where it’s just about me and my art!

Do you think that creative people are usually more imaginative?

I think it depends more on the person actually.
One of my sister is creative but she doesn’t exactly have an imagination
My dad isn’t creative but he has an enough active imagination.
I’m creative and I have an over-active imagination.
It depends on the individual.

Before I was kid I was wondering my self :

“Where was I have been?”

“Where is that place?”

and I spoke my self…

“what happen, if I cant come back again?”
“is there….there is a door? so I can come back?”

Well, I m not a daddy girl, but yes, he is like my best friend, I like to talk to him, and I prefer talk with some one who is from my own family, if something I do not understand or something was doubt me…my father not an artist painter,but he had good taste for art and understand about the art things, he loved to give comments and options, but what ever he give me comment and his options,he always knew, the actions it’s always in my own thought and it’s always my choice

YES!!! most all the time…. the choose is mine.

But for some reason , I do too a very few time thought about his options and follow.

and I’m always remember what he say….

I saw you and tell you there is light over there…
I teach you and guide you how to go walk over there
there is left way…
there is right way…
and there is straight way…
I will teach you my away in beginning how to go to the light
but, I m not can carry you…
you have to try go walk by your self with your feet and step
even you have to grope in the dark as you walk
then when you walk, you have own your thought and choice too
which one is the best? did you still stick with my step and my follow? until you go to the light? or you have your own choice as better way then mine, to go there more fast and safe to the light!

I don’t know, sometimes I feel, I’m right and satisfied but sometimes also I felt fail with my own choose, but I never feel regret and not blame any one and I do too trying hard too not blame my self.

According from him: every human being we all got blessing from god as he give us a talented, but every each people is difference talented and difference how they explore out and how they do with they own abilty,
some people good on other side,some other people good on the other difference side
how they good or bad, how those big or small they ability is also It depends on the individual and back to they own self again.

Jika kamu tahu cara menggalinya
dan jika kamu menggali nya dengan serius
kamu akan mengangkat bakat yang terpendam keluar…
semua itu sudah ada di dalam diri kita masing masing, dan kembali lagi kepada diri kita sendiri, bagaimana cara kita mengunakan nya dan menggali nya.

Yes, as My self, I thanks full to God…
I know how to explore out my talented
I know how to explore out my imagination
and I know how to drag my self and mind to feel it my imaginations
so I can sense and feel like, I was go deep to my own world imagination.

he said :

“That because you was enjoying what you do and you enjoying your drawing and you respect full your imagination, so you can feel and sense it’s almost like real that you can be buried your self in your own world art and imagination

and he remain me again, for some people who is not trust they self and to they own feeling and sense, most they just think as weird with they own imagination, even some will felt scared think as worry other people will think Crazy and for people who is never respect with they own talented or they imagination most people who is never felt satisfaction with they own gift and with what they do, never felt satisfy with they own attainment.

“What happen,If I was to deep with my mind and my imagination and buried my self there and never come back?”
and there is ….no door there…?

my father was just giving me a big smile and I can remember that, he was just like a little laugh like I was made funny with my questions.

” As your art imaginative and painting ,The one who can control your mind and your imagination, it’s you… Your self!

he say:
When we imagination something, that also we try creative something in our mind and fantasy…
and your drawing your imaginative it’s like a movie, and think like as a movie
you creative that’s imaginative and imagination as you are the sutradara…
you creative that story as you put scenario on your mind as what will be like your fantasy and those imaginative as your wish…
and sometimes, you also can be the actor for your imagination your imaginative art or drawing fantasy.

Everything on your hands and your mind
when you think is enough , you will stop
and you don’t need a door
the key in your hands
you can make bad as you want that imagination as you wish…
you can buried your self deep in there…
you can make it good or
even you can ruin bad that your imagination
it’s yours… you the one who control that!

You can buried your self as you wish as long you want
and for some people who never come back again
that because…
they living in they own fantasy, those people who is cant accept and cant make a discriminate between real life and fantasy.

Any way, after that conversation with my father was make me feel better and I never doubt and worry any more, I was keep drawing and enjoying ever momment my own world when I was drawing…writing even when do with my art pics.

What do you think our world would be like without creative people in it, your opinions and thoughts?

I wouldn’t exactly be having this write and conversation about my art without the creativity of Mr. Gates.
But we need a balance in life – some creative some not. That’s the way I see it.

Np: All Those, it’s my art, from my hard work, and DISCIPLINE and FAITH. maybe for some people think is crazy or nothing, but for me, it’s everything and I’m satisfied at least I have been try to make it happen from one of my other dream art.
and I would like to say thank you for all the website I have been joint to all my friends who has in my friends list and any where, who support me.
Thank You

FAITH FOR THE FREEDOM OF ART

Sometimes I need to ask my self ,
whether…

I M WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE OF DISCIPLINE TO ACHIEVE A FREEDOM of my thought for my art
the tool exacted upon me for the lack of discipline will, in the long run for exceed
the price I now pay for freedom through discipline
Through from the pain
Through from my faith…

Now here, I’m with my art imaginative :

Those ~ who was in my head
those ~ who was my imaginative
those ~ the picture who I was creative by my imaginations, as an artist and my talented,

by feel, by sense, by testing, by character, by emotions, and more…more
by the eyes through my head, when you cant see directly from my head
by ears with thousand and billions voice….when you cant listen.

Where the place? and where those place…it’s just a place….no dark, not bright either, not smell , not bad either, not hot not cold either, it’s just a place….

I tell you a little bit about me :

I’m NOT to religious person and as human I do not perfect either,
You can see me sometimes, I’m still like wearing my favorite short skirt,
I’m still like sometimes, even often teasing a guys with my naughty joke on my write
(Well that’s my bad habbit, sorry….)

I NEVER see heaven before, and I NEVER see hell either, and I DO NOT KNOW what is look like those place either!

But I do believe with God, and I believe with Heaven and Hell

And in my life I NEVER SEE or MEET gosh and NEVER speak with them too.

I do not say, I do not believe…
I do not say, I believe…
But , Yes propably they are some where…
I don’t know… could be on top your closet, or could be under my bed

Oh well, if one of them, under my bed, I just hope
he is a sexy Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger as noble as Ralph Nader as funny as Woody Allen and as athletic as Jimmy Conners

Then just…. “Helloooooo…. How you doing!“

(Damn Julia, silly entar beneran dateng loh, ha ha ha, nah just joking right!)

When people have fear… with something will freak them out and as they think, they see something…as gosh, actually, what they see, is something was they own creative….on they mind from they own fear.

But I do respect to dead people!
whatever they are,where ever they are, I believe they have, they own world,but not in my world.

So Those imaginative, those place
it’s some where…some where at my mind, my head and could be it was in my dream, and my imaginative as I creative those place out from my imagination…to my art imaginative.

So just be reality…
There is nothing to do with magic things
there is nothing to do with Nge pet
what ever that nge..nge…or pet..pet
(well kalau di pepet bajaj, iyah pernah , Grrr…. damn bajaj, but I like ride bajaj)

I can’t bent spoon
I can not conjure up my self with abracadabra as turn my self becomes tiger, (if I know how to do that, probably I gonna be rich woman and have sircus )

And I do not have knowledge about black magic
the only science I have is was from school, learning from school from starting I learning spell A , B , C, writing and reading and the other knowledge I have only from a life, as I’m TRYING, DISCIPLINE, FAITH and EXPERIENCE.

So This is Me, as Woman,as Single parent for my lovely kids and as an Artist who faith for FREEDOM for her ART.

The Spirit Of Tiger

If a tiger has entered your life, be prepared for changes and new adeventure!

The tiger is solitary spirit protecting its territory and coming together to mate and raise their young, In this aspect you are a person who need plenty of “space”

You can feel suffocoated easily by one who does not understand this. You are very loyal, loving and sensual, but must be with some one who really understand you.

The tiger is a nocturnal animal and gives those with the “Spirit of the tiger”
a special power during the night hours, Your creativity is enhanced during those hour. The tiger is also connected to New and Full Moon and the phases of the moon can influence you greatly. You should learn more about the power of the moon and how to use its various phases to best advantage in your life. As with most cats, the tiger is a sensual creature. it stretches , it muscles are smooth and sleep it rubs against tree other cats and is very sensitive to touch. A tiger spirit person has great feeling of touch and could learn psychometry very easily. This person also is sensitive to the touch of other and can be very sensual in physical relationships.

Unlike most of the cat family , the tiger loves swiming and will often just lay in the water and enjoy it. The tiger spirit person has an affinity for water and often lives near the water or would like to. The water element is one of psychic ability and emotional elements. You can be overly sensitive emotional, but if you call upon the power and knowledge of the tiger, you can control you life. The tiger is a free spirit and loves to roam and experience new things.

The tiger spirit is adventurous and loves to TRAVEL and experience new cultures. Learn new philosophies. Meet new people and yet can still maintain that “Solitary” image and feeling . At the same time, The tiger has very strong ties to its young. The tiger spirit has great motherly devotion and raise and teaches their children. All that they can while the children are withing their territory.

Tiger hunt silently and slowly and this can be a very beneficial trait to learn in the tiger spirit life. Weigh things carefully, don’t be in too much of a hurry, At the same time in your life when the tiger spirit speaks, slow down and becomes deliberate in your choices. If you feel you are being selfish, that is porbably for your own good. Everyone must learn to
“Do for themselves” before they can help other, You may also find your self interesed in
various pursuits that have not previously appealed to you. Follow your instincts.The tiger is a great leader

THE SPIRIT OF THE TIGER IS ;
POWER
COURAGE
DEVOTION
PASSION
ADVENTURE
SENSUALITY

http://animalspirits.ladyinblack.com/tiger_spirit.htm

Learning To wait

Your prayers seem to go unanswered?
evidence of God’s working is scarce
you and fellow – belivers languish
while the Godless appers to flourish

then sometime we ask our self when we are in doubt
“is this God’s cruel joke?
or could there be a divine reason behind our sens of abandom ment?

or

we to learning to wait and patient.

Desperately, helplessly, longingly
I Cried :

Waiting for the answer

I pled and wept for a clue to my fate

“God, I need the answers, I need to know why! is your hand shortened?
or have you not heard?

by faith I have asked and am claming your word

“My future and all to which I can relate hangs in the balance and you tell me to wait?

I’m needing a “Yes” a go head sign or even a “No” to which I can resign.
“And God you promised that if we believe we need but to ask and we shall receive,

God I have been asking and this is my cry :

I’m weary of asking and I need reply!”

Learning to wait

I Could give you sign,

I could shake the heaven and draken the sun,
I could raise the idea and cause the mountain to ruin
all you asked me I could give and pleased you would be,
you would have what you want but, you wouldn’t know me,

you wouldn’t know the depth of my love for each saint
you would not know the power that I give to the faint
You would not learn to see through the clouds of despair
You would not learn to trust just by knowing I’m there
You would not know the joy of resting in me
when darkness and silence were all you can see

You would never experience that fullness of love as the peace of my spirit descends like a dove
You would know that I live and save…(for start)
but you would not know the depth of the beat of my heart

The glow of my comfort late into the night
the faith that i give when you walj with out sight
the depth that’s beyond getting just
what you asked of an infinite God
who make what you have last

You would never know should your pain quickly flee
what it means that my grace is sufficient for thee
“Yes your dreams for your loved
one over night would come true
but Oh the loss! if I lost what
I’m doing in you!

so be silent…and in time,you will see greatest of gifts is to get to know me and through oft may my answers seem terribly late my most precious answer of all is still “Wait” when it’s the time….it will come!

The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find a man!

” A Popular BUZZ word bandied about in live circle these days is “AVAILABLE”
the question is often asked ” Are you available ?“

Perhaps we have had the experience of finding ourselves attracted toward some one of the opposite sex… some one special… some one who available some one who will accept us the way as we are.

in recently months a number of my personal guy friend, was been kechap to me by phone or just trade short massage as trying to getting to know with me

Well I’m single …Available (damn Julia…SELF PROMOTION , well nothing wrong sometimes we need that… Well Let’s face it! we live in a society where the powerful, the beautiful and the bright usually get the recognition, the accolades and the promotions it’s pride – driven world of self that takes on at least of expression SELF PROMOTION - read my other blog “Pimp your self before they pimp you”)

Most the first time a man meet with me, mostly they talk to me about :

~ Are you seeing any one? NO

~ What do you for your life ? Artist painter and writer

~ How many kids you got? some, well I was to busy

~ Did you think, still want another kid?Well kids is gift as blessing from God, ask my self as human being as woman with my age closer to 40 and as the number my kid I had already UGH enough to make one club camp school so I’m happy and stick with I have now.

~How long you been divorce ? Quiet long, but don’t worry I’m not dry yet, I’m still can make bubble and sound OUPS!to much sorry

~ What kind a criteria guy do you like? well to many to tell, but my personalty not to picky person even I’ have side as greedy too , normally I’m dealing with what I see and I got and to the one who is available in front my nose, until it’s not work well, then I will make move.
~Why you still single….?

Bla…Bla…Bla….

~ Is dating harder for you?

I hearer, The smarter the woman get’s the more difficult for her to find a man!”

OH! Crap!!!! give me break, please…Don’t give me a such bulshit with that’s kind of pitty mind motto

PHEW!
what this wannabe “Discipler” or motoo failed to realize is generic to the art of discipling is the discipline of listening. The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find a man!

HERE THE BOTTOM LINE FOR KICKER THE ANSWER :
how else will we tap into the wellspring of a person’s soul to know “WHAT IS GOING ON IN THEIR LIFE?”

implied in this line of thinking of his joking the pitty motto some where out there is higher calling like there is;

“SMARTER ” and then there is the
“UNLUCKY person as being smart person”
and some how I can never quite get the two together….

Now , remain me as was my conversation chat with a man as best friend of mine from NJ, he was told me other day:

” My daughter is very smart. She got accepted to Cornell, I went to Cornell”

from that conversation chat, I can tell clearly how proud of him as father who had a daughter who smart… who does not?

But what happen when she is grown up…. are you gonna tell your daughter ………………………..

I don’t know your circumstances but I do know that God love us to much to allow us to take credit for Trying and Learning, that we may experience becomes smart….this is why we have brain.

Do You?

Smart is a person
Who learning
Who like to try , from those subject people becomes a person
Who has experience

My mother and other mother in this world , they smart cause every morning she creative with breakfast to serve her family.

and your wife they smart too…, they taking care the kids, family, house and even some other woman at same time do another job as her carrer beside being a mother…
Intelligence is not about how much you know. It is acknowledging what you do not know. It is about taking various bits of information and then using that information to form your own opinions, thoughts, and actions.

So…

The smarter the woman gets, the more difficult for her to find the right man
Sometimes but not all the time.. maybe because the guys gets intimidated to a by the woman’s strong personality.. …

” Naaaah…. she is to smart ! ( ugh sorry,excuse me so you excepting the dumb woman ?)

see you don’t give a change to your self and to the a woman
Ok she is smart…but what’s wrong with that?
what the reason to shake your dry bone knees and the freak hit though up your brain, then make you claim to fame as you are not deserve with smart woman or the opposite?

if the answer your doubt because ; You cant handle them?

I m sorry….

I suggest , for anticipating brain surgery, I suspect you would want to be sure the surgeon got an “A” “brain operation 101″ that’s silly right…

Smart woman also human being,
Sure beside they have side strong personality but they also have weak side too
Smart woman also have racks and ass OUPS, … sorry this nothing to do with being smart oke…but oh yeah now you like if I make comments this
Smart woman also can be dumb sometimes.(happen to me sometimes, as I m being silly, I can be dumb)

I don’t judge my intelligence by what I think I judge it by what other people think. Quite frankly, I have no idea how I rate compared to others and WHO CARE!!! but I do know, I’m smart

Now for all woman….

Is dating harder for smarter woman, has being smart woman hurt your dating life?

I think it’s … human nature to want to figure out why you are not successful at something that others appear to be successful at

You look for answers as to why you are not in a serious relationship when the rest of the world looks like they’re happily ever after.

So we tell ourselves something like, “It must be because you just happy with you are right now and your life…and when is come the right time… it will come!”

and I don’t think being “brainy” has to eclipse one’s personality…if you are not a snob about it. Brains can bring wit and compassion to a relationship…just think about it!

Nb:
On The Voice of Kartini ( 21 April )

Hidup Wanita Sedunia dan HIDUP PEREMPUAN INDONESIA

“Dengan belajar , menekunin dan mencoba kita tidak akan terpuruk di ke gelapan!”

(weleh weleh teriak nya kaya proklamasi kemerdekaan ajah, ampe male neh…. )

~ I’M on The Top Of Mountain ~

Week ago, I had bad day, I got angry, struggle with lust …During week , I was picking up pieces and starting over again, learning and trying to accepting, and yesterday morning in my time with God as I “Licked my wonds ” I offered up my prayer to God

And in the morning after finished pray, I wept through my coffee breakfast with my father.This is unsually as he knows, I was always spent time my coffee morning alone with my messy papers and sit out side,seen sight people busy in morning around inside my komplex.

like a poem…
when tongue taste the smell coffee
when the brain breakfast with paper
and the eyes can exercise with see something good (why not!!!any way,

Then he break the quiet

” What happen ?”

with taste my coffee morning in my tongue, I start to sharing the problem to him , then he give me the answer shortly.

” You are on the top of mountain “

“Alright dad, but it’s pain in ass…!” ( speaking being on top mountain, I like be on top he he but not with pain in ass, thats must another story…)

“Yep! thats cost to going be success”

Success not only need hard work or perseverance
but success needs suffer
success needs cost!

You cant just stay at home sleeping all day and dreaming then when wake up you got success!

Or
Just being busy pray in some place and hoping you got success instant shortly by magic word

Back to my father word

I’m on the top of mountain

Yes Imagine that right now
surfing the waves of the mountain mantaning balance my self in ladder of being success

and Imagine there is the wind will blow me nice (for every person who likes what you DO or write ) or…….sometimes maybe worse the wind will flash me harsh (two will hate it and three will be indifferent)

and in day time, there is sun will keep me warm or some probbaly will hit me as burnt me

and in the night …. there is moon will give me light, but a moon also can appear to dark as they gone, then you feel scared to fall down…so all those is about test.

so is that so many of us wake up in mid-live with a pit in our stomach feeling we lack meaning value or purpose?

Perhaps is it because in our drive for “SUCCESS” we have highlighted the temporal at the expense of that which is truly significant the Enternal

What prize success?

When you mention the word, “success” does having a successful career and family together with mandatory possessions like a big house and a fancy car, come to mind? If so, why? Is that society’s definition of success that we have been conditioned to believe in?

Nevertheless, it is never easy to shake off society’s version of success. How many times have you been made to feel like a failure just because you earn less than your over-achieving your friend ?

“What prize success? she doesn’t have car, she even lately difficult to pay her own rent!”

There are some who feel that only ‘losers’ think that being happy in life is of prime importance. They think it is an excuse for not making the cut.

“success” To me, being able to do what one has set out to do no matter how small or supposedly insignificant, in the eyes of others is success in its essence.

More importantly, is that our definition of success? Is that what we want? Or is that what our parents or society wants? It is really up to you to fix your own definition of success.

In fact, it is imperative that you do so to give yourself the right direction in life, for your dream and successful

So when you feel on the top of mountain

Focus on your goals, is scaling Mount Everest is what you deem as success
Once you have decided what it is that you really want in life, you would not be bothered by what others think of you. It is a liberating experience – you become free from others’ yardstick.

Nb. Yang menghancurkan ke success – an kita , itu bukan orang lain, tapi terkadang dari diri kita sendiri, Ketika kita berada di atas awan yang putih dengan nama kita yang harum dan di saat itu sebenarnya kita juga sedang di coba dengan yang di atas….dan di saat pamor kita down, orang sudah tidak percaya lagi, banyak dari mereka mencari cari kesalahan dari orang lain, atau melempar kesalahan ke orang lain atas runtuh nya ke suksess-an nya.

Let’s just admist that it’s hard to humble when you are soooo good! correct or not?

sankin good nya terkadang mereka lupa
~ Siapa yang memberi…
dan siapa pula yang akan mengambil nya kembali nanti.

Di saat kita terhujat, atau apa pun of course sebagai manusia sekuat apa pun setegar apa pun, pasti akan merasakan rasa sakit dan terpukul, sekuat apa pun iman mereka, tetap juga akan merasakan rasa sakit itu, begitu jg dengan saya. tapi di saat kita pasrah, dan menerima itu sebagai bentuk cobaan buat kita (dalam bentuk apapun dengan berpikir karna “Tuhan sayang dengan kita” memang tidak mudah untuk melakukan nya, tapi kalau kita mencoba nya,
Pasrah bukan berati kita kalah, tapi sebalik nya kita menang, menang untuk melawan hawa nafsu kita untuk tidak berbuat jahat dengan tidak menhujat kembali orang yang memberi kita sakit dan hard time.
dengan begitu rasa sakit yang tadi besar akan menghilang sedikit demi sedikit, bahkan kita akan lupa kalau kita pernah di kecewakan atau di sakitin.

GBU

~ The Birth a Vision of Leader ~

“Aim at nothing and you are sure to hit it”

Sure you are something …. sweetie
you just don’t give a credit to your self, that you know something and you can do.

Sometimes my friend or people who is not knowing me well, will judge me as I’m Dom person, even some of woman who I know was judge me as not happy word as told other woman as I’m the person who like to take control people or friend!

Sometimes yes I realize too, YES!forgive me... they way I’m talk and act sometimes I’m feel like as leader, but I never thinking want be

leader. I even never ever have thought want to control some people or even my owns friends. I do not want Dom any one either.

but if they are my truelly friend who know me well, they will understand me, I guess I’m just a person who like telling straight what I would like to do and what I know… and what I want ! I’ m not haste either to listen,learning and follow the advice or opinion from other people or friend.

I’m just think, why we need to wait until some one stand up and saying they have the idea or advice, if you also have your own idea or your opinion, why not let them know your idea,

Hey….if ya got it, FLAUNT IT! Right? cause if you don’t toot your own horn idea, who will?

Back in my child memory
like my father was ask before when I was kid, when we went out to restaurant as took all family to eat.

“What do you like to eat? he ask my mom…
“I don’t know” she say that probably because to many choice of menu make her confused

“What do you like to eat?” also he ask one by one to his kids. all give same answer…
” I don’t know dad, up to you…”
then he was just give us smile and saying

“For just your own food and for you stomach, you don’t have a passion or desire to think, and not even have idea, what will be make it you guys happy to eat… ”

“How you gonna have an idea and desire, what would like to be on the future? are you have desire being a doctor? or an artist?”

Leader! isn’t that the hot word today?

The tearm “Leader or Leadership” is kinda titillates your ego, doesn’t it?
Intresting! is it not that….but spoke profusely on Servanthood

Every human being we are born as leader!
Anyone can be a leader, even if the only person they’re leading is themselves.
every person we are leader for the responsibility our things;

I m leader for my self

I m responsibility for my self for anything what I need , I do and things

I m leader for my kids as parents

I m leader for my self as wife

I m responsibility for taking care my husband and kids
I m leader for my lover…
then more and more….and more….

Effective leaders will be servants who have attracted a following because of their passion, vision, integrity and love for people, we will make effort to develop this kind of leader

But you can’t become a leader just by saying you are, Leadership needs to be worked at.

” I want chicken Gordon blue!”

You know what you want
you know the idea and plans what you like to eat
you know what a passion will make your stomach happy to eat
you ask for… then
you eat that meal

in other word…
you know what you want
you have a passion
you know the idea
you got the plans
you let them know as share your plan
you do it and…
prove it your vision

If you don’t they will not believe you have anything to contribute in a conversations

There are a lot of people out there proclaiming how good they are …. (talk is cheap)but few actually deliver the goods

President Lydon Jonhson keep a sign on his wall

” You Ain’t learning nothing when you’re doing all the talking”

isn’t there an object lesson in the fact that God gave us one mouth and two ears (that’s for man actually, woman more lucky blessing got 2 mouth ha ha ha )

“let the wise listen and add to their learning…..

Leader To Be Human is To Be Wounded

The real qualities of leader are to be found in those who are willing to suffer for the sake of objectives great enough to demand their whole hearted obedience.

Leader also human being
Leader is not Dom
can be wounded
can be wrong too

if you motives in pursuing leader are notless than a desire intimacy with Dom you are sadly on the wrong track

Now…

which rung of corperate leader you are on?

~ Greedy control over your resource ?
or

~ As you a mature leader and gain in stature are you still willing to learn from the most humble of source?

listen with the intent to understand
Value the other person and their input.

So even if we haven’t yet fully dealt with the question of whether leaders are born or can be made, let’s look at some of the qualities needed from a leader.

Yes! I’m leader :

1.I have plans

~ I Built
~ I made
~ I Bought
~ I Owned
~ I amassed

2. I have a vision.

3. I share my vision

4. I Takes charge.

5. I’m inspires through example.

And finally, I becomes my self as my personal
the brief auto biography of one such a leader person.

~ I’M Gonna Be Like You ~

While I was growing up, my father traveling a lot’s on his duty in marines
he left my mom often sometimes was take quiet long enough for being month and month, but he never feel tired to send us a card while he was traveling

my father only showed up once or twice at any of my school or extra curricular activities I was about in the first year junior school, playing on Volly ball team

there was my father in the stand!
still wear his uniform after take couple month traveling disappear with his ship

“Where you been ?” I was screaming happy to see him

“I had been traveling…”

Now let’s skip my story…

One man was spoke to his friend at bar while he spent his happy hour and seeing sight give those two pear his ball eyes an happy hour with any pleasure around an happy hour ass available who walk pass by ( he he he…. that’s will another next story sorry, well get a long with my joke hehheeh oke just skip that)

“My child turned ten just other day he said!”
“Thanks for the ball Dad
“C’mon let’s play, can you teach me to throw?”
I said “Not today! I got a lot’s to do”
his son said “That’s OK”
and he walked way but his smile never dimmed
he said ” I’m gonna be like him, yeah… you know I’m gonna be like him!”

Then after couple years….

“I have long since retired, my son’s move away, I called him just other day.
I said ” I would like to see you if you don’t mind?”
He said ” I would to Dad! if I could fine the time, you see.

the new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flue, but it’s sure nice talking to you Dad, it’s been sure nice talkin’ to you.
and as I hang up the phone, it occurred to me

“he grown up just like me, my boy was just like me”
last week while I was visit my friend at some part east Jakarta, she took me to other her neighbor for talking about her rent room.

” BERENGSEK!!!! Elo monyet!!!”

a girl about 14 year old was screaming to her brother in other room
then the woman was excuse and left us for checking her kids.

“MONYET LOE! berisik ada tamu tahu!!!”

Alright in other word, she screaming back to her own kids with use same bad words as her daughter was screaming about, to control her kids.

in reflecting back, I remember of the pharse….

“The fruit never fall/drop far from the tree “

and the lyric Harry Chapin cat’s in the cradle :

A child arrived just the other day
they come to the world in the usual way
but there were planes to catch and bills to pay
they learned to walk while we was way
they learned to talk while we was show them way
and they was talking fore
we knew it and as they grow they said

” I’m gonna be like you!”

Parents judging by your current investment into the lives of your clan, are you pleased with the reality that some day they are in fact

” Gonna be like you?”